Grog Bowl Lore
At Civil Air Patrol Dining Outs, violators of the mess are obliged to publicly drink from a grog bowl in front of the mess attendees. The grog is often contained in a toilet bowl, consisting of various edible liquids mixed together. As a more disgusting effect, the grog may also contain floating solids, such as meatballs, raw oysters, or Tootsie Rolls.
The tradition of drinking grog originated with the British Navy. Grog consisted of the regulation rum ration diluted with water to discourage binge drinking. In today’s Navy dining-ins, grog comes in two varieties (one with alcohol and one without). The non-alcohol variety may contain anything that will make it less appealing to the taste, including hot sauce. In Civil Air Patrol, all grogs are non-alcoholic.
Protocol Rules of the Mess
The following is a list of rules under which the mess will be conducted. They are designed to conform to tradition and promote levity. Violators are subject to the wrath and mischievousness of Mr/Madam Vice (with the President’s permission, of course). All assigned penalties will be carried out before the membership.
- Thou shalt not be late.
- Thou shalt make every effort to meet all guests.
- Thou shalt move to the mess when thee hears the chimes and remain standing until seated by the President.
- Thou must assure that chivalry is not dead.
- Thou shalt not leave the mess whilst convened. Military protocol overrides all calls of nature.
- Thou shalt participate in all toasts unless thyself or thy group is being honored with a toast.
- Thou shalt ensure that thy glass is always charged while toasting.
- Thou shalt keep toasts and comments within the limits of good taste and mutual respect. Degrading or insulting remarks will be frowned upon by the membership. However, good-natured kneading is ENCOURAGED.
- Thou shalt not murder the Queen’s English.
- Thou shalt not open the hanger doors (talk shop).
- Thou shalt always use the proper toasting procedure.
- Thou shalt fall into disrepute with thy peers if the pleats of thy cummerbund are inverted.
- Thou shalt also be painfully regarded if thy clip-on bow tie rides at an obvious list.
- Thou shalt consume thy meal in a manner becoming gentlepersons.
- Thou shalt not laugh at ridiculously funny comments unless the President first shows approval by laughing.
- Thou shalt not overindulge thyself in alcoholic beverages.
- Thou shalt not question the decisions of the President, otherwise known as caviling.
- When the mess opens or adjourns, thou shalt rise and wait for the members at the head table to take their places or depart.
- Thou shalt not begin eating a course of the meal before members of the head table.
- Thou shalt not engage in conversation while another member has the floor.
- Thou shalt not wear an ill-fitted or discolored mess jacket.
- Thou shalt enjoy thyself to thy fullest.